On the joyful day when Mary and Joseph presented Jesus in the Temple they met a holy man named Simeon who said to Mary: ". . . Because of this child, a sword of sorrow will pierce your heart . . ."

Each of us at different times in our lives have a "Simeon experience". It may be when a doctor tells us or a family member that we have a serious illness, when an employer hands us a pink slip, or the phone call about a death in the family. "Simeon moments" call us to remember what is really important in life. When we have a Simeon experience we can turn to Mary knowing that she too has experienced the pain of horrible and unwanted news.

#2 Sorrow: The Flight into Egypt - Matt 2:13. "Get up, take your child and his mother, and flee to Egypt for Herod is about to search for the child to destroy him."

This sorrow of Mary reminds us of all families who are forced to flee from their homeland because of political warfare, economic upheavals, religious and ethnic persecution or devastating natural disasters, such as famine and earthquakes. There are about 40 million refugees in our world today. Each man, woman and child left behind them things we take for granted. We have in our parish several people who had to flee Cuba, Vietnam and other places because of political upheaval or economic conditions.

Another form of Flight into Egypt might be the decision to flee a relationship or work situation that is destructive to us. Sometimes we should stay when we are tempted to flee a difficult situation. Another connection with this sorrow might be dealing with the "Herods" in our lives that threaten to harm us. Our "Herod" could be someone or thing outside of us or something inside of us e.g., grief or addiction. In the later case we are called not to flee but to stand our ground and face our Herods and deal with them as best we can. Again, Mary, Woman of Compassion and Mother of Sorrows, can be our helper-guide as we deal with these situations.

#3 Sorrow: The Loss of the Child Jesus in the Temple - Luke 2:43-45

This sorrow of Mary immediately connects us with all the parents of missing children or other family members, all the families who ever had a loved one a prisoner of war or missing in action. Also, this sorrow of Mary can connect us with families who have lost a child or young adult to drugs, prostitution, street gangs, religious sects/cults. In Latin and Central America, we have thousands of parents with sons who have "disappeared". In thinking about this sorrow let us pray especially for parents who live daily wondering if their missing child is dead or alive.

#4 Sorrow: Mary Meets Jesus Carrying his Cross - Luke 23:27

If you saw the movie The Passion of the Christ, you got a real feel for the pain that Mary experienced as she witnessed her Son carrying his cross on the way to Golgatha. I think of all the mothers who have sick children and how they must daily carry a cross of looking at their suffering child (or loved one). How hard this must be.

In a beautiful book on the Seven Sorrows of Mary called Your Sorrow is my Sorrow, Sr. Joyce Rupp writes:

A mother described how the discovery of a brain tumor in her twelve-year-old son led her to Mary. She explained how Mary helped her to meet the suffering of her son and of her own heart. The morning before surgery she was at prayer and she saw Mary's journey "all too clearly." She asked herself, "How did she walk to Calvary? Where did she find the strength? How will I walk with my twelve-year-old son through what is to come?" She was surprised at how drawn she was to Mary because for years she had found the rosary "monotonous and boring.: She said she always felt that Mary was far removed from her on a throne in heaven, but in the days before her son's surgery, she realized that "Mary was the only one who could understand where I stood at that point in time. Mary, woman and mother, could give me the strength I needed to give my son, as he faced life or death."

When we meet the pain of a loved one, we enter into it. It is there before us, demanding our attention. We walk the journey of pain and distress that another takes. We meet others in their moments of heartache and desolation in such a way that we, too, feel what they are experiencing. We are affected by how they hurt. We try as best we can to give them our love, our strength, our hope.

The fourth sorrow of Mary gives us both teaching and inspiration in learning how to meet the pain of others and our own pain, as well. It was in the life-moment of Mary's fourth sorrow that she came face to face with one of the most desperate situations that a mother could ever know. It was there that she looked upon unbearable suffering. It was on this journey to Golgotha that she let her son know by her presence that her love was with him, that she would be walking every step of the way as she entered into his passion and death with him. When we are meeting pain, whether it be that of one we love or our own pain, we are walking in the footsteps of Mary as she walked with her son on the long road to the hill of crucifixion.

#5 Sorrow: Mary Stands Beneath the Cross of Jesus Jn 19:25

We are invited to imagine what it must have been like for Mary to stand beneath the cross and see her Son suffer in such a horrible way.

I think of the mothers in Russia who recently lost a child in the terrorist attack in the school. I think of parents who have lost a son/daughter in the war against terrorism. I think of the 7,000 + soldiers who have been injured. I think of all the innocent civilians who have been killed or injured, whose homes who have been bombed or attacked. Jesus continues to suffer in a million ways today and Mary continues to kneel beneath his cross as she sees her children suffer in a 100,000 different ways.

Sometimes we are called to be a comforting presence for those who suffer. Sr. Joyce Rupp writes:

Sometimes there is really nothing we can do except to "be there" for others who are in the throes of great hurt. When Marlene's good friend was falsely accused of sexually abusing a student she had taught some twenty years earlier, she tried to be there for her friend. She kept encouraging her friend not to lose hope even though she could do nothing to change the situation. Marlene wrote: "My phone bill to her is very large and my car has many miles on it because I strongly believe in physical presence as a major source of support. My friend tells me that my being with her gives her courage to face each new day."

We underestimate the value of "just being there." In our production-oriented Western culture it is difficult for many of us to really believe in the power of simply "being there" for someone else. There's a voice in us that keeps insisting that we have to do something. This voice questions the effectiveness of presence. I face this often in my own life. Is it enough to just listen? Is it sufficient to sit by the bedside? Shouldn't I bring something? Can't I say something that will make a difference? Something deep inside keeps trying to convince me that if I just know the "right" thing to say or do, then both the hurting one and I will feel better. Sometimes words do help, but many times it is just "being there" that is most comforting and helpful.

#6 Sorrow: Mary Receives the Dead Body of Jesus into her arms. Jn 19:38

The sorrow of Mary has been immortalized in Michelangelo's masterpiece, the Pieta (from the Latin meaning, loyalty and devotion). We think of all the mothers in our world who today or in the recent past have held a dead child or loved one in their arms. Mothers of stillborn children, those Russian mothers, Iraqi mothers, mothers in the Third World countries who hold their dead children etc, etc. In her reflection on this sorrow of Jesus, Sr. Joyce writes:

"The Pieta is a powerful reminder of how much strength love can have and how much pain it can evoke. This sorrowful figure reflects all those who weep and grieve as they hold their great loss and pain close to their heart in a long embracing farewell."

When Mary had received Jesus into her arms, she had come full circle with him receiving in death the bruised and beaten body of the son she had birthed as a fresh, healthy child some thirty-three years earlier. Everything she had known and cherished about her son, all the love they had shared, the trials and tribulations they had experienced, each hope and dream she had for him, all this Mary held on her sorrowing lap.

The wounded Christ in Mary's lap is also in the lap of our lives. The Jesus of the Pieta is each suffering person who enters our life. We may be receiving the dead body of someone we love or we may be receiving a nonphysical death (a great loss) that causes us, or someone else, immense grief. Being a living Pieta means that there are moments in life when we need to hold what has died, cherish what has been, and accept the reality of the pain that comes with this loss.

When we receive hurting ones, we gather them to our heart as Mary did and embrace them as a wounded Christ. We cradle them with care and reverence in the lap of our compassion. A lap is that part of us that we naturally have when we sit down; it allows us the ability to hold things there. A lap is a place of comfort where little ones are cradled, where children feel sheltered and protected. It is while lying on the lap of the mother that the child is nurtured and often where children are rocked to sleep.

#7 Sorrow: Jesus is Laid in the Tomb. Jn 19:41-42

Mary had stood by tombs before when Joseph was buried and other relatives and friends. But this time must have been different. Now she was by the burial place of her Son who had not died of "natural causes" but died in an untimely and cruel way.

If you have ever stood by a casket, filled with emptiness and heartache, you have been at the tomb with Mary. If you have ever been overwhelmed by the finality of death and the loneliness it evokes, you have felt Mary's sadness. If you have ever wondered how you could cope with losing the one you loved the most, you have known Mary's grief. If you have ever felt exhausted and desolate by the experience of saying goodbye to someone you treasured, you know what it is like to be there at the tomb. If you have ever felt devastated and destroyed by a brutal life experience, you have made the journey with Mary because you have witnessed a death to some part of your precious self. The "tomb" is any situation that insists we let go of what has given our life meaning and value.

In the epilogue of her book, Sr. Joyce concludes with these words:

In the tears of your life Mary, I see a reflection of my own tears.

In the struggles of your life, I see my own tribulations.

In the desolate places of your life, I see my own attempts to regain hope.

In my yearning to find someone who knows what it is like to bear these burdens of mine, I look into your life and I see your shock, your fear, your emptiness, your confusion, your desolation.

Yes, I know now that your sorrow is my sorrow.

And I see, too, that you withstood all that brought you pain and heartache.

I see that you found a wellspring of strength within you.

I know that it is possible for me to also find this deep source of encouragement.

I, too, can find a place of peace and hope within myself.

The Holy One who sustained and sheltered you will also sustain and shelter me.

I am not alone.

Reflection Questions