Sample #1: Works of Mercy, Take #2
The seven corporal works of mercy that we looked at earlier involve caring for the body. But a mother's job also encompasses the seven spiritual works of mercy. You'll find one on each of the next seven pages, starting with "Admonishing sinners."
Even though we don't ordinarily think of our children as "sinners," even in the early years we help them to create lifelong habits of looking honestly at their own behavior, sizing up their motives, and taking responsibility when they're in the wrong.
Much as we might prefer to be our children's friend, that's not our job. We do better when we guide them and lead by example. One important part of our role is to put firm boundaries around what is unacceptable behavior and then to stick to them. Our kids don't need us to be indulgent. Forgiving, yes. Anything goes, no.
So take heart the next time you have to call your son on his dishonesty or reprimand your daughter for speaking disrespectfully to you. If you didn't do that, you wouldn't be doing your job.
http://members.fortunecity.com/moviemom/list.htm
Are you yearning to show your kids some portraits of strong mothers in the movies? Neil Minow, the "Movie Mom," lists great family movies, many of them oldies. Also see Minow's current reviews at http://movies.yahoo.com/moviemom/
Sample #2: Put Your Eye on Peggy
A friend, Kate Byrne, writes in Commonweal of the day her young daughter Peggy, one of five children, tried to get her mother's attention during the hour before dinner. Mom, busy stirring pots and setting the table and who knows what else, gave her a distracted, "Really?" and a noncommittal, "Uh-Huh," her eyes everywhere but on the girl. Finally, Peggy had had enough. "Put your eye on Peggy!" she demanded.
This story dates from fifty years ago, back when moms were supposedly "less busy," and their lives were not so crammed with activities and responsibilities. (I wager Kate might disagree with that sentiment.) Apparently the challenge of being a good listener knows no season.
To "put our eye on" the person speaking is one simple way to be a better listener today. It lets our children and other folks know that our minds- as well as our eyes-are on what they're telling us. While we might be able to "multitask" with the best of them-making dinner, talking on the phone, supervising homework-what our kids most need is for us to "monotask" instead.
If that's impossible at the moment, says Kate, at least give your son or daughter "the assurance you'd grant any other important client. Tell her, 'I'm sorry,' and 'I'll get back to you as soon as I can.'"
Hear my prayer, O Lord, and give ear to my cry; do not hold your peace at my tears.
-Psalm 39:12
http://family.samhsa.gov/talk/listen.aspx
Look at this site for the practical piece, "You Never listen to me" with good links on listening.
Sample #3: Constructive Criticism
Some days it seems we spend more time correcting our children than anything else. "Get your feet off the furniture." "Don't burp at the table." "I'm sure you can work a bit harder on this essay." "Please don't leave your dirty socks on the floor for someone else to pick up." Like it or not, constructive criticism is one of our jobs as mothers. The trick is to do it out of love, not out of anger and frustration.
"If you're critical without being loving," says Ronald Rolheiser, O.M.I., "you're destructive. If you're loving without being critical, you're weak. Your loved ones...need you to be loving and critical at the same time."
God, help me to stand up and be the parent I need to be.
No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement.
-Florida Scott-Maxwell
The National Mental Health Association has a number of brief, helpful articles for parents on numerous issues facing children.
Many of you have daughters with young children living elsewhere or living in the area who do not go to church. Consider using this book as a Mother's Day Gift to sow some spiritual seeds. If you wish to order the book yourself contact Acta Publications 1-800-397-2282.
Miscellaneous Bits and Pieces
The following are a few miscellaneous bits and pieces worth reflecting on. I really love this first one:
Granny's Glasses
A little boy said to his playmate, "When I get older, I want to wear glasses just like Granny's because she can see so much more than most people. She can see the good in a person when everyone else sees a bad side. She can see what a person meant to do even if he or she didn't do it. I asked her one day how she could see the good, and she said it was the way she learned to look at things as she got older. And when I get older, I want a pair of glasses just like Granny's so I can see the good, too."
How different our world would be if we all wore a pair of Granny's glasses! If I would look for the good in you, and you would look for the good in me, our lives would be so much more pleasant. At times, we are like the buzzard that seeks out what is rotten and ugly, when we should be like the hummingbird that looks for what is sweet and beautiful. I dare you to try on a pair of Granny's glasses!
God is Always Out Searching for His Wayward Children
One of God's most famous wayward children was Augustine of Hippo who lived in the fourth century. For years he lived with a woman and had a child with her. Finally, Augustine did hear and respond to the call of God. His famous mother St. Monica, prayed daily for Augustine's conversion. Augustine's spiritual autobiography is called Confessions of a Soul. One of the most famous passages in the book is the following:
You can get a complete copy of the prayers on our website or you can get a copy from Maria at the Parish office 254-1595 ext 3072 email. msittig@ascensioncatholicsch.org.