There are certain established criteria for ageing well. These include good morale, self-esteem, experiencing satisfaction in our ordinary everyday living, and having control over our lives. Erikson, the Great American psychoanalyst, speaks of certain features in later life which help to make the above experiences possible. The abilities we need to develop he lists as follows: to be able to adapt to change, to accept the past, to transcend self-preoccupation, and to lose a fear of death. People will come in their own way to degrees of achievement of some or all of these.

A major ability or quality that everyone needs in life and especially in the older years is adaptability; to be able to adjust to the inevitable biological, psychological, spiritual and social changes that ageing brings. Acceptance of things that cannot be changed is part of this adjustment. Coming to acceptance of what is limiting and undesirable involves discovering meaning in what has taken place. Over time this meaning can deepen.

The ability to accept our past life includes reconciling how we have actually lived our lives and how we might like to have lived them. Acceptance of mistakes, choices made that are now regretted, helps to contribute to present levels of satisfaction. An inability to do this will detract from an experience of well-being.

Transcendence of self-preoccupation is difficult; it is part of everyone's lifelong fight against selfishness. It is sad to see older people whose lives center more and more on themselves and their needs, with a gradual decline of interest and awareness of the needs of others. This can happen to people who may have been very caring earlier in life.

Attitudes towards death have been neglected in many studies of ageing. This could be the result of researchers showing a conscious or unconscious fear or uneasiness about their own mortality, or it could be out of respect for such a sacred moment in life. Fear is an emotion related to the unknown and death is the great unknown for all of us. Some people have a great fear of death. Others face it calmly, and those who work in hospitals would say that this is true of most people. Religion can play a major part in helping people cope with death and dying, yet some, despite their deep faith, can have a great natural fear of death. The actual reality of death grows in people's consciousness from the fifties on when an awareness of our own mortality impinges more into living. This can lead to moroseness, but for those with a healthy realism it can lead to a greater appreciation of the preciousness of life. This in turn results in a determination to try to live as fully as possible each new decade, year, and day, as they come along.

There is a theory that many people over their lives develop efficiency at the cost of versatility. The patterns of thinking and behavior that we adopt, particularly over the middle years, tend to color our later lives. A lack of versatility shows itself in an inability to try out new things, take risks, even to enlarge interest and ways of thinking about things. This can result in people being able only to make restrictive choices in their later years when in fact this is a time when creativity is needed. Flexibility and a resourceful spirit are great qualities to bring into the older years. When these are diminished, even small changes can be difficult, like changing personal routines or ways of doing things. If more major changes are deemed necessary, these can become catastrophes.

Florida Maxwell, an American writer, has these striking words to say about herself: 'Age puzzles me. I thought it was a quiet time. My seventies were interesting and fairly serene but my eighties are passionate. I grow more intense as I age. To my own surprise I burst out with hot convictions'. Our older years call for boldness and imagination. Hence it is important to be wary of telling people how to behave by prescribing how they should live their lives. Widening horizons and encouraging a daring spirit is what needs to be fostered.

Having said that, one thing is definite: the most vital element in ageing well is to keep alive a sense of purpose to life. To have a purpose for our older years in general, and to have a goal or goals for each decade, year, even month ahead, is essential to fulfilled living. In practice this means having a sense of purpose as each new day begins. It means not constantly giving into our inner voice which could say something like, 'Stay in bed today, the weather is too bad'. Awareness of purpose may grow dim and narrow at times due to illness or stress, but fanning it into flame again and again so that it is personally real in the nitty-gritty of everyday happenings is what gives energy and meaning to living life fully to its completion.

No Wrinkles on the Soul

An excellent devotional resource for older persons is a book called No Wrinkles on the Soul by Dr. Richard Morgan, a retired Presbyterian minister. We now have copies of that book, in large print, in our parish office for $7.00, a 40% discount. In the introduction to the book, Catholic writer, Eugene Bianchi writes:

Richard Morgan calls us to be creative about the spiritual dimension of the ageing process.

These meditative reflections can be useful to anyone from middle age onward. But they seem to focus on issues that confront persons in the later phases of the ageing process. The reader senses a deep awareness of the fragilities and limitations that are more pronounced in the final years of the Third Age. Morgan's honesty about certain losses and their attendant pain becomes a gift to us. We are pulled away from the pleasant advertising that sells retirement communities. We are led beyond the pretty pictures of trouble-free ageing to experience the heart of the matter. We need to journey to such rock-bottom issues if we are to construct an enduring house for ageing well. It has been said that we must look at the worst in order to contemplate the best.

George Bernard Shaw asserted that youth is wasted on the young. But I'm afraid we could say today that ageing is wasted on the elderly. So much talent, skill, and wisdom is lost to society at large when ageing persons are ignored or rejected. But it is even sadder when they see themselves as useless and lacking in value to others. Morgan's meditations may take us into negativities of aging, but it is for the purpose of tapping and channeling the great gifts of the elderly for the world. Some older people will exercise these abilities on larger social issues of justice, peace, ecology, and human rights. But others will make their contributions in quiet and personal ways with children, the sick, and the isolated. However we use the talents purified in the crucible of ageing, Morgan wants us to "hoe to the end of the row," not to lie down with self-pity in the middle of the furrow.

But such perseverance to the end requires spiritual resources. Morgan's book is of universal appeal, although he leans heavily on the biblical tradition for sustenance. That tradition is rich with powerful insights into various states of the life cycle, and it contains an accumulated wisdom of faith communities over millenia of human experience.

These short meditations lend themselves nicely to the still busy life-styles of many ageing persons. They can be used for a brief spiritual reading in the morning or perhaps at a transitional moment during the day. However we use them, they can stir up the gift of God within us. As we struggle with the new problems of the graying of the West on the cusp of the twenty-first century, we need to be enabled to live fully by the spiritual wisdom of our heritage. Science and technology will be vitally necessary to meet the new challenges of ageing populations. But as the Bible reminds us, without spiritual vision, the people will perish.

In his preface to the book, Dr. Morgan writes:

This anthology on ageing grew out of my own need and my perception of the needs of countless older adults-those living in their own homes, in nursing homes, retirement villages, and senior centers. With more time on our hands, we want to grow spiritually and to age gracefully. I trust these meditations and reflections will make your ageing less fearful and more graceful.

Two Sample Devotionals

Each devotional in No Wrinkles on the Soul has a quotation from scripture, a reflection on the ageing process by some other writer, a meditation by Dr. Morgan and a concluding prayer.

Sample One - Claiming What Is Ours

And now, lo, I am this day eighty-five years old. I am still as strong to this day as I was in the day that Moses sent me;. . . So now give me this hill country of which the Lord spoke on that day. Joshua 14:10-11, 12

Read for Reflection

We are not "senior citizens" or "golden-agers." We are the elders, the experienced ones; we are maturing, growing adults responsible for the survival of our society. We are not wrinkled babies, succumbing to trivial, purposeless waste of our years and our time.

We are a new breed of old people. There are more of us alive today than at any other time in history. We are better educated, healthier, with more at stake in this society. We are redefining goals, taking stock of our skills and experience, and looking to the future.

Erik Erikson speaks of old age as "a time of integrity," of absolute honesty in an age that has lost its way, in terms of deception, double-dealing, corruption in high and low places. Old age is also a time of great fulfillment - personal fulfillment, when all the loose ends of life can be gathered together. Maggie Kuhn

Meditation - Claiming What Is Ours

After the Israelites had conquered the land, eighty-five-year-old Caleb went to his former colleague Joshua and claimed the promised hill country. The gift of the land was designed to show how God keeps promises to those who are faithful. Caleb, as an older person, claimed his rights.

The following words were spoken by an ancient writer a century before the birth of Christ:

Old age is worthy when it defends itself, when it asserts its rights, is subservient to none, and to the last breath, rules over its own domain.

Sometimes we older people are afraid to assert ourselves. But we do need to claim our legitimate rights without anger or apology. Thus we show that we respect ourselves and that we have the power to choose our own activities, rather than passively letting others control us.

Older people are people with rights. It is time for us, like Caleb, to learn to be assertive on our own behalf.

Prayer

"Redeemer God who strengthens us, help us as older people to stand up for ourselves, lest we fall for anything. Give us the grace not to be angry with others or to let others control us. Help us to be our own persons." Amen.

Sample Two: Life Begins at 75

When, therefore, in our own time we see a man or woman in the later years who maintains the questing spirit, and who does so with courage and resourcefulness in a wide variety of circumstances, many of them terribly, even tragically adverse, such a man or woman may well be described as Ulyssean. The quest, the courage, and the resourcefulness may be exhibited on a human stage of immense proportions or in total solitariness and obscurity. It is not the time or the location but the quality of the life being lived that creates the Ulyssean Adult. John A.B. McLeish

Life Begins at 75

Surely Abram was not seventy-five years old when God called him to leave his home and make that incredible journey of faith! Biblical time must have been different from ours, and this was just a mid-life crisis.

Why can't we accept the fact that God can and does use older people? God's wisdom does not discount the rich talents of older people. God knew that Abram had the potential for greatness at age seventy-five!

Abram was like the legendary Ulysses, who came home from the Trojan wars after a long struggle and tried to settle down. But the old warrior was not content to sit. Instead, Ulysses looked for some "work of noble note" yet to be done. Some call older people like this Ulyssean adults. Abram was one.

Another was a old woman from eastern Kentucky named Granny Sukie. Sharon R. Curtin tells us that Granny, over a hundred years old, once told her:

The last years of a woman's life should be spent in trying to settle what's inside. Early on a woman is so filled with things outside-her looks and her husband, and her children and her home-that she never has a chance to be just private. I've had more private time, now, that I need; but I value these years just the same.

We never know what adventures lie ahead when we move out in faith.

Prayer

Call us, O awesome God, to some incredible journey of faith in our own lives. We are not content to mark the end of our days in inactivity. We want to be challenged, to have something useful to do. Amen.

Dr. Morgan's books are excellent devotionals for all of us who are 50+ years. Some copies may be available at the parish office and you can order directly from Upper Room Books in Nashville 1-800-972-0433. If you have older members of your family living elsewhere or here, consider sharing this column with them.

A Blessing for Older Persons

The following blessing is taken from Anam Cara (Gaelic for Soul-Friend): A Book of Celtic Wisdom, by John O'Donohue.