In the Christian life there is no room for smugness or for resting on our laurels. No matter how hard we have tried to live according to the word of God we must always seek to be even more faithful. “Holy Spirit show me the sin in my life. Show me the ways I am not acting on your word.” Conversion to the Lord is a life long never ending task. The older we get the greater the danger that we may become smug and routine in the practice of our faith. We say our prayers, come to church, and give a little money to charity. We may be even involved in one or more ministries but deep down we have closed our hearts to God. We are not serious about continuously seeking to open our hearts to any new word the Lord may wish to speak to us. We may be afraid that opening our hearts may involve doing stuff we have a strong resistance to doing e.g., forgiving a particular hurt, becoming involved in some other ministry.

In today’s gospel, Jesus is very clear that following him involves real dedication.

The Door Will be shut and there will be surprises.

Today’s gospel also stresses that the door will not remain open forever. In stressing this Jesus is issuing a warning to us not to procrastinate on accepting his message.

Also today’s gospel states: People will come from the east and west, north and south and recline at the table of the Kingdom. And behold some are last who will be first, and some are first who will be last.

When the end comes, there will be surprises about who will go through the door into the heavenly banquet hall and who will be shut out. The following statement is attributed to St. Augustine:

Good connections in this world can get us into most places. Such good connections will be useless when it comes to getting into the Kingdom of God. The powerful of this world may be very surprised with the reversals of fortunes in the next world as the following story points out.

This is a story of a woman who had been used to a lot of luxury in this world. When she died and she arrived in heaven, an angel was sent to conduct her to her house. They passed many lovely mansions and the woman thought that each one, as they came to it, must be the one allotted to her. When they had passed through the main streets they came to the outskirts where the houses were much smaller; and on the very fringe they came to a house which was little more than a hut. ‘That is your house,’ said the conducting angel. ‘What,’ said the woman, ‘that! I cannot live in that,’ ‘I am sorry,’ said the angel, ‘but that is all we could build for you with the materials you sent up.’

The standards of heaven are not the standards of earth. Earth’s first will often be last, and its last will often be first.

The bottom line message of today’s first and third reading is that all are invited to the heavenly banquet hall but to be admitted one must be a dedicated disciple of the Lord, one must continuously seek to open ones heart to God’s word and act on its message.

The Second Reading - The Discipline of the Lord

Today’s second reading points out to us that a part of being a dedicated follower of the Lord is one’s willingness to accept the discipline of the Lord.

In the reading, we listened to the following challenging words:

It seems the community to whom this letter to the Hebrews was addressed was undergoing some form of suffering and were at a loss of explain it. Some saw suffering as a punishment for sinful behavior. Others saw suffering as a form of discipline. If patiently worked with, suffering, will build character. Quoting the book of Proverbs, it is this latter explanation that is being suggested here. The author compares suffering to a discipline a loving parent offers a child and to the discipline an athlete must undergo if he is to win the race.

Having said the above, we must not think that God sends us bad things (cancer, losses of various kinds) to ‘straighten us out’. Closer to the truth, is that bad things happen because we live in an evolving and imperfect world. Because medicine is an evolving science, not all sickness can be healed now. Because we are imperfect people, we do terrible things to each other. While God does not directly cause these bad things, he does want to use them to build character and teach us valuable lessons, which draw us closer to him. Usually, the finest people in our world are those who have grown through suffering, i.e., Pope John Paul II, Nelson Mandela.

Nine Discipline Tips for Parents

Surely one of the most challenging tasks that face parents is how to discipline children in a way that is not overly strict or too lax. The following nine tips were written by Valerie Dillon, Family Life Director for the Archdiocese of Indianapolis.

Worn out from the fights at the dinner table? Tired of a teen who never cleans his/her room? Beginning to feel like a police officer instead of a parent?

Take heart. These are the days you’ll recall nostalgically 15 years from now! As for today, it’s good to remember that when you wisely discipline your children, you help them grow in self-esteem, confidence and Christian values. Here are some tips for effective discipline:

1. Be explicit, not implicit. Be sure your children really understand the rules. We often carry “oughts” and “shoulds” in our heads, but never actually say them. Don’t assume Billy knows he must call if he misses the school bus. Don’t think Stephanie understands that you never want her to borrow your diamond stud earrings. Don’t be sure the kids know the refrigerator cake is off-limits. Verbalize.

2. Be consistent. Nothing confuses and scares kids more than a parent who smiles one time and screams the next for the very same act. Be aware that your own mood and stress-level may cause an over-reaction. And if you warn a child that disobedience will bring a certain consequence - be sure it does or he won’t take you seriously next time.

3. Make the punishment fit the crime. Consider first the child’s intent. Failure to obey, sassiness, destructive behavior all can have many causes and some may lessen the guilt. Listen to a youngster’s explanation before you declare house arrest. Seek his/her motivation; understand his developmental stage. If they’re teens, count to 25 before you impose a penalty you can’t enforce. Better yet, let the punishment flow out of the deed as its natural negative consequence.

4. Model the behavior you want. If you want children who are gentle and patient, where will they learn it except from you? If you preach that smoking and alcohol threatens a teenager’s health, can you do less than to set an example of abstinence or moderation? Values aren’t taught, they are caught.

5. Hate the behavior, not the child. Don’t let your wayward kid think you love him less because he erred. Admonish, correct, punish as you must, but sent the clear-cut message. We still love you, no matter what.

6. Don’t let your children divide and conquer. Children seem born with an uncanny gift for playing one parent against another. They ask permission from Dad (maybe he doesn’t know the score). If that fails, they hit on Mom. The result: Inconsistency, conflict between parents and a child who can manipulate his/her folks. Instead, together agree on household rules, always check: “What did Mom/Dad say?” and whenever possible, support each other’s decisions.

7. Be flexible. Think twice before you say “no”. Sometimes circumstances call for a different response than usual. Staying up till 11:00 every night would be bad for 10-year-old Jimmy. But it’s fine if a beloved big brother is visiting. Don’t be rigid. Expect rules to change as children mature. And recognize, too, that different kids may need different kinds of discipline.

8. Use Action for tots, Clarity for kids, Reason for teens. Non-verbal language - a tight hug, a firm grasp, a warm pat—is best understood by tiny tots when restraint or approval is intended. School kids have a law-and-order mentality and want explicit rules and clear consequences. You might want to put it in writing for those literal-minded souls. Adolescents need to know “why”, preferably in “I-messages” about why it matters to you. State the values behind the rules and don’t worry if the teen disagrees. Reminder: A family is not a democracy and life isn’t always fair.

9. Know that love and discipline are opposite sides of the same coin. Ask a wayward youngster what went wrong and his probable response: My folks let me do anything I wanted. All kids need parents who cared enough to instruct, discipline, and trust in balanced measure. It’s a crucial part of loving.

Reflection Questions

I suggest two parent families read the nine tips, take the time to discuss your answers to the following questions. Single parents may want to share answers with another single parent.

What tips did you find yourself agreeing with the most?

What tips did you find yourself disagreeing with or which ones challenged you the most?

3. When it comes to disciplining children, in your estimation what do you think is the most important thing to keep in mind?