Suffering is something that we all have experienced firsthand. We experience it in our own lives and in the lives of people around us. Daily television gives us images of the immense suffering happening in the lives of people in other parts of our nation and world.
On a personal level, we can experience suffering on a physical/material level and on an emotional, mental and spiritual level. I will name some of the forms of suffering that we can experience and look at how we can respond to them.
Physical/Material Suffering
We may have been born with some physical disability or we may have received a physical injury in childhood or later in life. Some physical injuries are temporary and some are permanent. Some injuries are immense, like the injury of a paraplegic which leaves a person paralyzed from the neck down. Because of some physical injury, our lives may be severely limited. We are constantly dependent on others to help us to do simple things. Or, we may be someone who has never enjoyed the blessing of good physical health. Our lives seemed to be filled with visits to the doctor's office.
On a material level, we may suffer from a lack of material resources. We live our lives from paycheck to paycheck. We work in a "dog-eat-dog" environment at a job that gives us very little personal fulfillment. We can never afford to buy our children the nice things their classmates take for granted.
Emotional Suffering
Our emotional pain may have started in our mother's womb. When she was carrying us, she may have been experiencing a lot of stress, sadness, anxiety, emotional or even physical abuse. Or, our mother may have been someone who did not take care of her health abusing it with alcohol or drugs. During our childhood years, we may have been raised in a home where there was very little love but lots of emotional or physical or sexual abuse. During our teenage years, we may have received little or no help with our psycho-sexual development. Later we may have entered one or more unhealthy relationships where we were once again abused or were the abuser. As a woman, we may have had one or more abortions or have been raped. As a parent, husband of fiancé we may have encouraged or pressured a daughter, wife or fiancé into having an abortion. We may have experienced one or more losses that we never grieved, loss of a child, a parent at a young age, a sibling, a spouse or close friend, loss of a job that was very meaningful to us. As you can see, there are many forms of emotional pain and suffering.
Mental Suffering
We may be mentally challenged or, somewhere along the way, developed one or more of the many forms of mental illness that millions of people suffer from today. A big part of this form of suffering is that most carriers of this disease feel that there is a big stigma still attached to it in our society. As a result, they suffer in silence and isolation. Again, those of us who enjoy reasonable mental health have no idea what it must be like to live one's life with severe depression and with any other form of mental illness.
Spiritual Suffering
We may experience spiritual suffering for several reasons. First, we may have received poor religious formation at home, in a Catholic School, at Sunday school or in the preaching we heard in church. The poor religious formation may have failed to introduce us to a God of unconditional love. Instead, we grew up fearing God. We may have grown up feeling guilt and shame about all kinds of things. Our moral formation may have been so poor that we grew into adulthood guilt-ridden about many things;
e.g., every impure thought was a serious sin. In and through such religious formation; we were actually sinned against, we were spiritually abused and wounded.
Secondly, we may have contributed to our own spiritual suffering by falling into patterns of sin, which left us feeling very distant from God. We may have felt or feel that some of our sins were unforgivable and it was impossible for us to draw closer to God. A third form of spiritual suffering occurs when we experience dryness in prayer. We pray and pray but have little or no sense of god's presence. And a fourth form of spiritual suffering can occur when a lot of physical, mental or emotional suffering comes our way. We may experience a crisis of faith, wondering how a God of love could allow us to suffer so much. In light of the above forms of deep spiritual suffering that could occur to any of us, we can see why it is often said that spiritual healing is the form of healing that we need the most.
In addition to the above forms of suffering, there is the suffering we feel indirectly when we see other men, women and children in pain. For example, the terrible suffering that occurs as a result of earthquakes, hurricanes, famines, wars, airplane, train and car crashes, terrorist bombings that leave hundreds of people's lives devastated. All of this suffering may cause us to ask the inevitable question: Why? To this question, we will now turn.
Why?
Why does an all-loving and all-powerful God allow such suffering into so many innocent people's lives? Why doesn't God intervene and stop people from killing each other? Why? Why? Why?
Before I attempt to respond to the "why" question, I want to say up front that there is really no adequate answer to the question of why bad things happen to good people. It is one of those questions that will be only fully answered in the next life. In the meantime, all responses to why bad things happen to good people will be imperfect and incomplete.
I have found the following response to the "why question" helpful though I'm not sure how helpful it might be if I were the one going through one of the above forms of suffering.
In general, we can say that the vast majority of suffering happens because we belong to a human race that is imperfect and sinful and we live in a world that is imperfect and evolving.
Unfortunately, some of the suffering we experience is our own fault. For example, because we neglect to care for our bodies we fall prey to some illnesses. We drive while drinking and end up in a car accident that leaves us or others temporarily or permanently injured. We make poor career and relationship choices and cause ourselves lots of stress and unhappiness. Because we refuse to recognize and seek help for some personality defects, we get into a lot of trouble in our work and personal relationships.
Other times, suffering is thrown in our laps. Someone runs a red light and crashes into our vehicle and leaves us physically wounded for life. We visit out doctor for our annual checkup and we are told we have cancer. Someone very dear to us dies or walks out of a relationship on us. We are unjustly fired or let go from a job that we dearly loved. People say and do nasty things to us. They spread false rumors or betray confidences. Worse still, someone emotionally, physically or even sexually abuses us. All of these terrible things happen to us because other human beings are sinners, imperfect and abuse their gift of free will. If we are honest, we will, of course, have to admit that some bad things have happened to other people because we are sinners and imperfect and because we too have abused our gift of free will.
On a global level, immense suffering happens because nations and ethnic groups are unable or unwilling to resolve their differences peacefully. So, they resort to violence. Much suffering happens in developing nations because of corrupt governments and because developed nations do not have the will to help underdeveloped countries. There is more than enough food to feed everyone in our world, yet daily thousands of people die of starvation and malnutrition.
So, we can see that the reason the vast majority of human suffering happens because we humans are sinful, imperfect and abuse the gift of free will. God could stop all this human suffering by creating us perfect and with no ability to choose wrong or hurt others. In other words, God could have made us human robots. I doubt any of us would vote for that solution. Unfortunately, as long as we humans are sinful, imperfect and posses free wills, we will hurt each other in big and small ways.
In addition to the suffering that happens because we humans are sinful, imperfect and abuse the gift of free will, there is suffering that happens because we live in an imperfect universe that is still evolving. Because our world is still in the state of evolution, we do not have all the answers to physical and mental illness. Hence, today millions of people continue to die from cancer, heart disease, AIDS, Alzheimer's and other diseases that we do not yet have a cure for. But much progress has been made in the past 25 years. Because of medical, scientific and technological developments, we are living longer and healthier lives. Even though earthquakes and hurricanes and tornadoes can still do immense damage to human life and property, we are learning, in recent years, how to better protect ourselves against these natural disasters. For example, today buildings are much more resistant to the ravages of earthquakes and hurricanes, than the buildings constructed 25 or 50 years ago. As we continue to discover the secrets of nature and the causes of sickness, we will be better able to deal with illnesses and natural disasters. We should pray often for people in research so they may soon discover cures to diseases that are still considered incurable. And we should pray that the new discoveries in every area of scientific research would be used to protect and strengthen life and not destroy it.
If we accept the above viewpoint of why bad things happen to good people, we may not have to blame God and be mad at him. (Although, if we do get mad at God, we should know he can handle it.) Also, if we accept the above explanation of why bad things happen to good people, we will not need to believe that God sent us some bad things to "waken us up," "test us," "punish us," or "teach us a lesson." Of course, we may want to believe God sends us bad things to get our attention. All I'm saying is that we don't have to believe that way. Just think about it, what loving father would send his son cancer or a little earthquake to get his attention? I believe we need to banish from our hearts and churches the belief that God sends us bad things to "waken us up," and "straighten us out."
Having said that, we can say that frequently when bad things happen to us we are shaken up and perhaps motivated to take a hard look at how we are living our lives. Recently, a man came to see me whose marriage was falling apart. For many years, he abused alcohol and frequently he was verbally abusive to his wife. His wife decided to end the marriage, which shocked him. Fortunately, this crisis caused this man to take a whole new look at his life. He returned to church, started to attend AA meetings and confront some of his dysfunctional behavioral patterns. We do not need to believe that God broke up the man's marriage to get his attention. But we can and should believe that God wanted to bring good out of this bad situation. Fortunately, this is what is happening. Unfortunately, in other situations, the presence of some bad things in someone's life may cause them to turn away from God and become very bitter with life. When bad things happen to us. God's plan is to use them to make us better persons. The devil's plan is to make us bitter persons. We need to pray often for ourselves and others that the bad things, which cross our paths, will make us better and not bitter.
OUR RESPONSE TO SUFFERING
When I think about the Christian response to suffering, I feel guided by the sentiments expressed in the Serenity Prayer used by people in the 12-Step Programs.
"TO CHANGE THE THINGS THAT CAN BE CHANGED"
When writing this article some years ago my intention was to write something about all three parts of the Serenity Prayer. But, I only got to the first part.
Physical Healing
Our response to physical suffering should be medicine, (traditional and alternative forms) and prayer. When our bodies are hurting, we should do everything possible to seek out the best help available to us in the medical and spiritual world. We should pray for guidance as we search for medical help, the choice of doctors and medical procedures. We can pray over any traditional or alternative medicines that we take. We should ask others to pray for us. If we know of individuals blessed with a gift of healing, we should ask them to pray with us. As we try to accept what is not changing, we should continue to seek help and healing for our hurting bodies. As a church, we badly need to rediscover the gift of healing. In places where healing prayer is available to people, many dramatic things happen. People are completely healed of heart disease, cancer, diabetes, back and leg problems. As a result of prayer, others experience a diminishment of pain and partial healing. (On Wednesday evenings in Our Lady's Chapel, some parishioners are available to pray with people for God's healing touch.)
Emotional or Mental Healing
In the not too distant past, people with psychic wounds were more or less told to "grin and bear" their pain because little or no help was available to them. Thanks to major developments in psychiatry, psychology and the discovery of inner healing prayer, many people are experiencing total or partial healing for psychic and spiritual suffering that kept them in bondage for many years.
As with physical sickness or injury, we should be open to seeking out anything that can bring healing to this area of our lives. Help may involve receiving some intense therapeutic counseling that may help us to visit and come to terms with some painful past experiences that we have repressed for many years. Healing prayer can also be a big help in this area. I have prayed several times with women who, for years, carried the emotional scars that come with having had an abortion. I invited the woman to go back in time to the room where she was when she had the abortion, to be as in touch as possible with the thoughts and feelings connected with that event. Then I invited her to image Jesus and his mother, Mary, in the room. Thirdly, I invited the woman to name her baby and tell the baby that she was sorry for allowing the doctor to take its life, that she was sorry she was unable to keep the baby, tell Jesus that she was sorry she was unable to keep the baby. Fourthly, image Jesus and Mary walking toward her with compassion. Finally, I invited the woman to image Jesus and Mary as taking the baby into their arms and loving it. Usually, many tears are shed in the process of the healing prayer and the tears are a part of the healing that is occurring in this woman's soul and heart. Rather than continuing to carry the guilt, shame and hurt for more years, the woman is healed and released from the pain associated with the abortion of her baby. In a similar way, many other people have been healed of other experiences that left them emotionally wounded.
In his inaugural address in a synagogue, Jesus said that he come to "bring release to captives" (Luke 4:18). Inner healing prayer is a form of release from an experience that has kept us captive for many years. If you are interested in learning more about the Healing Ministry of Jesus and how it is alive in some places today, I recommend the book, Healing, by Francis McNutt (Creation House Publication, Altamonte Springs, Florida).
We can also rejoice that much help is also available to people who suffer from various forms of mental illness. Fifty years ago, mentally ill people were locked up for life in mental hospitals. Today, thanks to many developments in psychiatry, the discovery of many medicines and healing prayer, many mentally ill people are living normal lives.
In a very readable 96-page book called, Depression, (Liguori Publications), a Catholic priest tells how he fell into a major depression and how a combination of counseling, medicine, support from friends and prayer helped him to pull through. Protect Us From All Anxiety-Meditations for the Depressed by Fr. William Burke (Acta Publications) is a series of meditations and prayers that the author wrote during his own depression.
Spiritual Healing
Anytime we begin to believe that God is distant, aloof and uncaring, we are in need of spiritual healing. We are also in need of spiritual healing when we cannot believe in our hearts that God loves us and that he will forgive us for all our sins no matter how big they are.
How can we facilitate spiritual healing? I deliberately use the word "facilitate" because all healing is a gift from God. Our role is to be aware of any obstacles that may hinder our reception of the gift and to create conditions that may facilitate is reception. Perhaps an analogy may help. If I want to receive a nice sun tan, I must remove obstacles to receiving it (e.g., staying indoors, keeping my clothes on while out in the sun) and create conditions that will give me the best chance of receiving a suntan (go to a sunny climate, go outdoors, take off my clothes. But even then I have to wait for the sun to shine. I can't force it. I can only do what I can to remove obstacles and create conditions to help me to receive the sun tan. It is the same thing when it comes to spiritual healing. The goal is to remove obstacles and create conditions that allow healing to occur.
What Might be Possible Obstacles to Spiritual Healing Through the Experience of God's Love?
A Poor Self-image. If we do not see anything to love in ourselves, we will have a hard time believing that God can love us. We may tend to believe that God and others share in the poor opinion we have of ourselves.
Unforgivable Sins. We may think we have committed some unforgivable sins. Also, if we can't forgive ourselves, we may wonder how can God forgive us?
The Bad Things That Have Happened to Us. We may wonder how there can be a good and lovable God if he has allowed bad things to happen to us.
We Have Never Experienced the Good News of God's Unconditional Love. Even though we were raised in a Christian home, went to a Christian school and church, we may never have experienced the Good News proclaimed. We may never have allowed the Good News to touch our hearts.
Facilitating Conditions to Receiving God's Love
Spend time with Scripture stories in which Jesus is very explicitly showing love and mercy for hurting people. The following are some suggestions:
Luke 5:12-14-The Cure of the Lepers. The leper in a tentative way says: "Sir, if you want to, you can cure me." Perhaps broken down by life's bad experiences, the man wonders if Jesus would want to heal him. Jesus' response is: "Of course, I want to heal you." We can assume Jesus also wants to heal us from whatever stops us from believing in our hearts that he loves us unconditionally, no strings attached. Prayer suggestion: "Jesus, cleanse me from whatever is blocking me from believing in your love."
Luke 5:17-26- The Healing of the Paralytic. Perhaps you can visualize yourself as the paralytic unable to walk with a sense of God's love. See Jesus coming to you with a look of compassion. Spend time visualizing Jesus looking at you with love. Do you think Jesus loves you any less than he does the paralytic? Can you imagine that this Jesus would ever send you or anyone bad things? Prayer suggestion: "Jesus, lift me out of my spiritual paralysis."
Luke 18:35-43- The Healing of the Blind Man. Jesus also says to you and me: "What is it you want me to do for you." Your answer might be: "Lord, that I may see, that you would open the eyes of my soul and allow me to see your love for me."
Luke 15:11-24- The Return of the Prodigal Son. If we have a difficult time believing in God's mercy, this is a wonderful story to help us connect with the God of mercy. Try to see yourself as embraced by Jesus. Image yourself in the loving arms of Jesus. I encourage you not to just read the above stories. Spend time trying to enter into the story. Be there. Be the leper, be the paralytic, be the blind man, be the Prodigal son. Try to visualize the compassion of Christ in these stories. Then try to imagine him showing you the same compassion. Also, take time to sit and listen to Jesus say to you: "You are precious in my eyes and I love you" (Isaiah 43:3). "As the Father has loved me so I love you." (John 15:9).
Other Suggestions
Take time to name the blessings in your life. Do you believe God is the source of these blessings? Like children we are so busy complaining about what is missing in our lives that we are blind to the blessings.
Secondly, many people have experienced God's love for the first time during a retreat experience in their church. Check with you local church for any such experiences that might be occurring in your area. Thirdly, you may want to join a prayer group where leaders pray with people who are hurting. The eyes of many have been opened to God's love through such prayer. Finally, you may want to search for a good spiritual director that will work with you as you struggle to name and deal with obstacles to experiencing God's love.
If we have deep-seated obstacles to experiencing God's love, we can expect that it may take lots of prayer, time and effort to heal this spiritual condition. On the other hand, we may receive a rather miraculous and quick healing. God works differently with each of us. Why some prayers for healing are answered quickly, other prayers are answered slowly and still others not at all, or so it seems, is something we will never fully understand on this side of life. Kathryn Kuhlman, now deceased, had a great gift of healing. She once said: "When I go to heaven, the first question I'll ask God is: why did you answer some of my prayers for healing and not answer others?"